The passing of a loved one by Tony Green

Everyone knows death is evitable, as no one lives forever, yet we are so stunned when it occurs to someone close.

Most people would suspect they would experience certain emotions upon the passing of loved one. However, when the time comes the real experience can be quite different from what you would expect.

A week ago my mother passed away with from complication with lung cancer. Her first bout with chemotherapy yielded successful results but she succumbed to later recurrence of her cancer.

In the week afterward I felt profound sadness as expected. Furthermore I experienced headaches, lack of appetite, extreme difficulty in waking up even though you received the proper amount of sleep, and intermittent irritability. Later research on Google would indicate these as symptoms of mourning.

At the time, the loss seemed total. For me, as many African American men in large urban cities grew up with single mother. Mom was really a mother and father as I grew up in West Philly looking back in retrospect. She successfully guided my brother, my sister and I so that we could have decent lives.

After I went graduated college and I moved far away from where my mother had relocated. I tried to get back to visit with my family whenever I got the chance but often times it was never enough to satisfy her. Grandmothers want to see their grandchildren as much as possible.

Her nickname of “Sisty” was especially appropriate as she was the matriarch of her three children and her four grand children and an older sister to many of her nieces.
We will all miss her as her teachings have shaped the people we became as adults. The true legacy of how she is will be remembered will be how we live our lives. Hopefully, she will approve of the lives once we meet her in heaven. I will be waiting.

This posting is dedicated to my late mother, Joan A. Green March 17, 1942- December 19, 2009